Women's History Month and the Warrior Women we Serve

As a woman in leadership, you would think I would have a lot to say about this topic...and I do. Yet, as I write this, I worry too about the direction in which these messages can go. I DO love that there are strong women in history who have paved the way so I can actually be a CEO and have this space to write. But as a woman in leadership, I can also say this topic makes me somewhat uncomfortable. I don’t want to be labeled as a strong female leader. I really just want to be seen as a strong leader. Or better yet, a strong person.  As much as I like to be in control, I also like to relinquish control. I like to look pretty some days and I also like my sweats. I like to be on the front page and other days I like to hide at home. I want my life to have purpose and meaning, but I accept the fact that I may never be as well-known as Taylor Swift. Does she deserve the crown? Sure. But guess who else does? No, not me J. I think of the women we serve at Hope Clinic; those coming in with an unplanned pregnancy and those trying to live with the consequences of a pregnancy loss. They are all amazing warriors to me, and some of them may never make the front page or any 'Women of History' list.

The first women that I think of as playing a strong role in history are those who walked beside and helped finance Jesus during his time in ministry. Those who bravely stood at the Cross while He was crucified. Those who first saw His resurrected body. I love that Jesus knew 2,000 years later the strong role women would play in history. And even further back I think of Esther, Ruth, and Rahab…pretty strong and remarkable women who played an important role in history. Sometimes they acted bravely. Sometimes their very presence was an act of bravery.

Fast forward to the last 100 years and the list includes many great women who changed history. I am sure our lists may be different depending on your religious or political views (which I won’t even touch here J). I do think, no matter who is on your list, that as women have made more and more of a mark on society, it has brought about both good things and new roadblocks to face. In our attempt to be stronger, we sometimes come off as not needing any help. I have seen men lose their chivalry and start to question their role as we grow. I think we are still just trying to figure it out.

This brings me to the women we served 30 years ago and those we serve today. What is the same? These women are facing life-altering decisions that impact their life first and foremost…more so than their partners.  The brunt of the decisions and the workload falls on her shoulders. What has changed? On one hand, the world wants to push the man further and further away from her body, her choice, and her decisions. Yet from where I sit, I am not sure that has always been to her benefit. We know full well the cost of young people growing up without a father figure in the home. We know over 90% of those incarcerated have no father. We also know of many women who are actually our clients BECAUSE of a poor father figure in her life. So while we continue to equip and empower these warrior women who walk in our doors, we are also trying to engage their partners in the process. We want them to stand beside her, support her, share in the responsibility and the decision making, and yes, be a part of the parenting process. This is good for her and it is good for the child.  We have male therapists talking to the partner so he better knows how to support her. We also have these male therapists talking to the woman so she knows how to better ask for what she needs and deserves. This is a radical change from the original pregnancy center model and one that many others still hold today. But it is one I think is vital for the real long-term success of the women we serve.

So I think being a strong woman doesn’t have to exclude having strong men in her life; just like there is nothing wrong with a strong woman choosing to stand beside her strong husband and taking the number two spot. I think great women in history have never followed  one prototype. She can be strong AND meek; empowering AND submissive; outspoken AND quiet; making a mark on the whole world AND just in her own home. I thank God for the many women before me who made it possible for me to have a voice, and I look forward to the women of tomorrow who may have opportunities because of some tiny contribution I have possibly made. 

Do We Really Need a Dirty Dancing Remake?

I must confess I loved Dirty Dancing when I was in college. I was also naïve. Back then I was Baby, the smart girl who never got the HOT Johnny Castle guy. So all I cared about was that this smart/not that hot chick ended up becoming this great dancer AND getting the HOT guy to fall for her. Somehow I managed to ignore the whole part about the ‘back alley’ abortion, and the fact that Baby ends up having sex with the HOT guy she has known for less than 2 weeks. I am pretty sure the version in my head has a part two where after Johnny returns for the final dance, he follows her to college, proposes, they get married and have 2.5 children with a white picket fence, thereby excusing her having sex with him so quickly. Uh yeah. When you are a virgin, this whole thought process seems quite possible. You think that when a guy has sex with you it MUST be because he sees how valuable and incredible you are and that he will never let YOU go because you are SO DIFFERENT than every other girl he has slept with.

So when talk came up recently about the remake of Dirty Dancing, I had mixed opinions along with the rest of the world simply because I didn’t think anyone could replace Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze…and since I have been told I look like Jennifer, well someone replacing US seemed …sad. But secretly, I wondered…if it meant promoting the smart girl getting the HOT guy again, I was intrigued. What I didn’t think through was: promoting that all abortions pre-legal were done ‘in a back alley’. The truth is abortions were happening in doctors’ offices back then too. Our clients admit that. Could this really be a way for pro-choice people to push the image yet again what a horrible fate will befall women if abortion is made illegal?

The other thing is that it promotes a smart girl having sex with a HOT guy within two weeks of knowing him, fully knowing that a future with him is unlikely since this is a summer romance. We don’t know if they use birth control, but we do know they have sex. And we do know that all of a sudden Johnny is a changed man. At my age, I have since learned that even the smart pretty girls who have sex with the HOT guy don’t turn them around so easily. Most don’t return for the ‘magical dance’.

I was challenged to think about this and possibly change my perception of this movie based on this article I read it online and felt really convicted. You would think in my line of work, I would have realized the negative influence this movie, wrapped in good music and some skilled dancing, could have to a whole new generation. That another generation of girls would act stupid pretty quickly when said HOT boy gives them some attention. How easily I was sidetracked….how easily could our young people be sidetracked?

http://www.suntimes.com/entertainment/7121017-417/dirty-dancing-remake-will-let-young-girls-down.html

What do you think?


Renee Rizzo is President and CEO of Hope Clinic for Women. She feels passionate about helping all people; especially women who have been hurt or broken, realize there IS hope, and that God has a purpose for each one of us.

"Two Lines"

“Two lines!” As one of the pregnancy services counselors here at Hope Clinic for Women, I got used to saying (or at least thinking) this little phrase on a regular basis. Nearly every week, I saw pregnancy tests with those two little pink lines, which meant the pregnancy test was positive! After seeing a handful of positive pregnancy test, it was easy to normalize it and not think of the true implications of those words. “Two lines!” I tried to understand my clients, learn more about their circumstances, and support them in the way that they needed- that is what I loved and was trained to do. However, I could never truly know how it felt and what it meant that their test came back positive. I had never experienced the stress, the joy, the excitement, the shock, or the fear that comes with an unplanned pregnancy. Though I tried as hard as I could to understand my clients, I never truly knew what it was like to take a walk in their shoes.

A little over 3 months ago, however, I administered a pregnancy test that changed my perspective forever. Because this time, I was the client. At first glance, it looked like the test was going to be negative. However, I had to give it 3-5 minutes to process so that I could make an accurate reading! I thought, “5 minutes!!! I can’t wait that long!!!” I was so antsy that I had to just walk away and distract myself with TV while I waited. I walked back into the room where the test strip was sitting on the countertop, and sure enough, two lines. I thought maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, so I promptly snatched it up and started inspecting it to make sure. Of course, my eyes were not deceiving me. I just stared at the test strip and said, “two lines!” These were the most exciting and frightening words I have ever uttered. I was feeling so many emotions all at once. “I am going to be a mommy!” “I hope I’m a good mommy.” “Are my husband and I ready for this?” “He’s going to be a great dad!” “Is the baby okay?” “I am going to love this baby so much!” “What am I going to do about school and work?” “We will figure it out.” “Are you sure Lord?” “Thank You Lord!”

This experience has allowed me to see my clients in a whole new light. My situation and set of circumstances is not exactly the same as anyone else’s, but on some level, I get it now. I understand the joy, the confusion, the fear, the shock, the stress, and the excitement. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you are going through, an unplanned pregnancy is a shock to the system. I now have even more respect and empathy for the women who walk through our door. More than ever, my goal is to meet them wherever they are at and support them in any way I can. I want to know what those “two lines” mean to them and how it is going to affect their lives. Everyone’s story is different and has its own unique set of difficulties and obstacles.

Fortunately for me, I am very blessed. I have a house, a stable job, health insurance, food on the table, a college education, close friends, supportive family, an amazing church, a loving husband, and a relationship with the Lord. I see clients all of the time who have nothing on that list. Woah! I have all of these blessings and I still get anxious! I cannot imagine going through this experience without these things, like so many of our clients do. My own unplanned pregnancy has really helped me put things in perspective and has given me even more compassion for the women that we serve at Hope Clinic for Women. Our purpose, our mission, and our passion for touching lives and instilling hope means so much more to me than ever before. I am blessed to be a part of this ministry and I am so proud of the work that is done inside these walls (and outside these walls.) Hope Clinic for Women offers the resources, support, love, counsel, and hope that our clients may not receive anywhere else. There is song that says, “There is hope for the hopeless, rest for the weary, love for the broken heart, there is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing, He'll meet you wherever you are. So cry out to Jesus.” I am so blessed and humbled by the fact that Hope Clinic for Women gives hope, rest, love, grace, forgiveness, mercy, and healing to women and families every day. We get to be Jesus to a world that so desperately needs Him.

Cassidy Nelson has been on staff for almost a year after starting as an intern with us. She supervises the BRIDGE Program (Building Relationships with Individuals and Directing them towards Gaining Education), the Maternity Home, and is also one of Hope Clinic's counselors. Cassidy and her husband have been married for four years and are expecting their first child early next year.

When Did Adoption Become a Four Letter Word?

At Hope Clinic for Women we are about choices. We make sure that every client that enters our door knows that she has choices -that even in crisis, taking the time to carefully consider those choices always allows for the best decision. I don't know about you, but waiting until my hair is on fire usually is not the best time to consider making a salon appointment.

We make no apologies here that we believe choosing life is the best choice - whether the young woman decides to parent the child herself or makes the incredibly selfless choice to place the baby for adoption. We share referrals to wonderful groups that can help the client with the difficult, but beautiful task of finding adoptive parents- a loving couple that are in most cases desperately seeking a child to love. And in the cases where they choose not to continue the pregnancy, we stand by ready to offer post-abortion counseling – seeking always to empower women to move to a place of health.

So why are more young women in unplanned pregnancies, not choosing adoption (less than 10%)? I did a little research, and the US Dept of HHS says they are not really sure. I have some theories - strictly of the layman variety. Research shows that the Millennial Generation is very family oriented and wish to have children - even if NOW is not when they planned it. Deciding to step up and parent makes sense to them. At the same time, our culture is currently glamorizing the teen mom with reality shows that - while they do point out the struggles - do it with $$ and celebrity. Watching a couple of those episodes, it is no wonder that most young women believe they could do at least as good a job, if not better, than most shown.

I am in awe of the young women that choose to parent. It is a difficult decision and means that they must work hard to make new plans, create new dreams and focus their life on someone else. I know being a mom is one of the hardest, yet most rewarding jobs that there is, and I completely support their selfless choice. I still wonder - how could we better support them if adoption might be a great choice in a particular situation?

Let us know what you think.


Beverly Rogers, Director of Community Relations, has been with Hope Clinic for Women for over a year and is charged with strengthening and building business relationships both with donors and the medical community and to raise awareness of the services available at HCFW, as well as the needs we have. She oversees 4 major annual fund raising events as well as church giving.

What are the Father's Rights?

Are we helping the Fathers or making it harder for them?

I have wanted to write this blog for a couple of weeks but frankly chickened out because I know this is a controversial topic. It started when I read on Yahoo about the man in Arizona who put up a billboard of himself holding an outline of a 2 month old and it said something like: “This is how old my baby would be if my ex-girlfriend did not abort my child”.

OK, first. Do I think the billboard is tacky and hurtful?... You bet!

But it raises an issue I have come to think about more and more as I work at Hope Clinic…

What are the father’s rights?

It is really hard for us to say more men need to ‘stand up and be a proper dad’ or force them to pay child support when they have no rights to the child prior to the birth. Most abortions occur when there is already a heartbeat. You can debate whether or not it is a viable life.
You can also debate whether you think ‘because the fetus is in her body, it is in fact ‘her body- her choice’.

I don’t know... I guess this all is just not sitting well with me as we are trying to get more and more men into Hope Clinic to be part of the decision. How can we want him to take part of the responsibility and part of the parenting if we only want him to have rights AFTER the woman has already done the deciding for the both of them? I know I know. Hear me out first.

I was flipping the channels and saw on both Sex and the City and another show (the name escaping me right now) about whether or not a girl even has to tell her boyfriend (or the guy she had sex with) if she is pregnant. The women were split in their opinions, but the men in the show were all of the belief they deserved to know and be a part of the decision. They were mostly frustrated that it is possible that they wouldn’t be told something so important. It may not be a life to her, but it may be to him. She may not want to raise the child but he may want to. I know we could say then he should get to vote ‘for abortion’….I guess, I wish that in a split decision we would err on the side of life. Couldn’t she go through with the pregnancy and terminate her rights if he wanted the child?

Again, I am not saying there is a simple answer… There’s not. I know fear and shame and confusion cause women to make this decision; sometimes without the guy’s knowledge. I am not condemning them. I am just sad about it. I am sad for her that she felt like she couldn’t tell him. Sad for him that he never knew and never had a voice for what may have also been his only child too. I’m just raising the question…

But I am also thankful that at Hope Clinic we are creating an environment that does allow for open, honest, yet hard discussions between the girl AND the father of the baby. We provide one on one and couples counseling for both of them. No matter what they decide, we want them BOTH to know they are not alone and that we can help them. That’s why our tagline reads: “A Safe Place for Tough Choices”.

Reaction to Article from USA Today

Reaction to recent article in USA Today about the overall decline in abortions
by Renee Rizzo, President/CEO of Hope Clinic for Women

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/health/medical/womenshealth/story/2011/05/Abortion-rates-decline-overall-but-increase-in-poor/47506252/1

Hope Clinic tries to stay away from political polarization. This allows us to be a safe place for all women in an unplanned pregnancy….regardless of where they stand on the issue morally, religiously or politically…. Because after years of experience I am learning stands can fall to the wayside, when it is YOU that the unplanned pregnancy is happening to. So please know that my response to this issue is not to create controversy but share facts, thoughts and how we at HOPE CLINIC FOR WOMEN are trying to meet the needs of the many women, men and families impacted in an unplanned pregnancy.

First this article shows that at least as of 2008, abortion rates were declining overall. In 1992, it was estimated that nearly 43% of all women would have an abortion by the end of their childbearing years. In 2008 that is projected down to 33%. And more Americans want more restrictions on abortion and a growing number of Americans wanted all or most abortions illegal. The Gallup poll states that “61% now would prefer abortion to only be legal in a few circumstances”.

Who IS choosing abortion?

Predominantly poor women (uninsured, underinsured). In fact up 18% with the general population at a decline of 8%.

Someone was quoted as saying it was because these women don’t have access to birth control. Honestly I just don’t buy that answer completely. Based on the 3,000 plus women who have walked through our doors in the last years, we learn they simply choose NOT to make birth control a priority and don’t use it consistently. (As they are carrying their smartphone in one hand and Starbucks in the other). Last time I checked they are still at every drug store on the corner. And if cost were the issue…how is it that they can’t afford birth control at less than $25 a month but can afford an abortion at over $500. It doesn’t add up.

I DO empathize with this population. They need to be better educated about the real risks of pregnancy and stds with sex. They do need access to medical care for both std testing and paps..and a chance to talk to a real doctor on a regular basis. And they need a chance to talk to a counselor if they want to change their risky behavior but don’t have the tools. I am grateful that at Hope Clinic we provide this information for free and provide medical std/pap testing for $20 and never let inability to pay stop a client from receiving our care.

Women in their 20s (predominantly 20-24); accounting for more than ½ of all abortions (in fact teen pregnancy is actually on the decline.

Regardless of what Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant and The Secret Life of the American Teenager….not everyone in high school is having sex and they are not our biggest risk population. Typically 75% of all teen pregnancies are 18 and 19 year olds. In fact there are more women over 30 having an abortion that those under 20.

While the abortion rate for Black women have decreased (by 18%) they are still more likely to have an abortion compared to Caucasian women. On the rise? Abortion among Hispanic women.

We are grateful that at Hope Clinic we see women of all races and have made incredible strides to have bilingual volunteers to help bridge the gap with this much underserved population.

Interestingly abortion is common among women who already have 1 child. I am sure a lot of that may reflect on how hard it is both mentally and economically to be a single parent. That is why I am grateful at Hope Clinic we offer our BRIDGE program for free for pregnant women and new moms…a chance to take classes, get professional counseling, gain needed life skills, have access to a mentor…in exchange for material assistance.

Here is the hard fact: most women who had an abortion said they have a religious affiliation (with 15% ‘born again’).

We know at Hope Clinic, women feel they have no other choice. The pressures, the fears, the shame, the guilt…all ring louder than the truth that there is hope, there is help, there is healing, and there is Hope Clinic for Women. (and places like us all across the country).

But I cannot end this blog without being thankful that we have been offering Pregnancy Loss counseling (past abortions, stillbirth and miscarriage) for over 20 years. We know how hard and long that decision can weigh on a woman. We want to be that safe place for her to process it …the best way for her.