Mentor Spotlight - Ellen Kelly

January is National Mentoring Month and we are so thankful for ALL of our faithful mentor volunteers who are the hands and feet of Jesus to our clients every day. We are so happy to spotlight one mentor in particular, Ellen, who has just been volunteering for about 6 months, but as you'll see has become one of our most faithful volunteers and has poured her life into the lives of our clients! Read below for her motivating and encouraging words to anyone looking to volunteer as a mentor.

How long have you been a mentor to our clients?

I began volunteering in the clothing room for Hope in June of 2015, and was assigned my first mentoring client shortly thereafter.  Thus, I am a new mentor at Hope. 

What keeps you coming back to Hope Clinic?

Prior to moving to Nashville, I was blessed to have the opportunity to mentor women, men, and families at a pregnancy care center in Indiana.  It was a true experience of "giving" - even more so of others giving to me - staff, fellow volunteers, and especially clients, than of me giving to them. When any of us reach out from a place of vulnerability and find a listening ear and joyful heart, hope and the ability to see all things in a new light follow. Hope Clinic is thus, aptly named, and truly a place of caring, joy, and hope!  Having the opportunity to be a part of a ministry that recognizes, values, and supports the dignity and worth of every beloved child of God, unconditionally, and helps each to see a future full of hope, has been an abundant blessing.  That is what keeps me coming back to Hope Clinic! 

What would you say to someone who is considering being a mentor to our clients?

Be not afraid!  Often, we associate the word "mentor" with prerequisite experiences or skills qualifying one to participate.  For someone to mentor at Hope Clinic, what is needed is an open heart, a listening ear, and a genuine love for each person God puts in your path.  Mentoring at Hope  entails walking alongside those who are in life circumstances that, for a time, are hard to put in perspective. Haven't we all been there, for one reason or another?  As a mentor, you have the privilege of listening, reflecting back, giving information, suggesting resources, and walking alongside your clients as they discern their own way forward.  You are not alone!  The staff and other volunteers at Hope are always there to pray, listen, offer suggestions, and support you in your mentoring.  As a friend often tells me, "We are not qualified; we are called."  If you think God might be calling you to mentor at Hope Clinic, come and check it out!  The Hope Clinic staff will answer your questions, guide your training, and be there for you every step of the way, as will Our Lord.

What have you learned about yourself through mentoring?

Perhaps it is said quite often; however, I think it is definitely true that "We are all in this together" - and how much lighter the load and wonderful the journey, when we take it up and carry it side-by-side!  Mentoring has helped me to see the beloved child of God in every person -- including myself, and to trust Him to do His work in all of us -- the clients, staff, and volunteers at Hope, and all those whose lives we touch and share.  

Ellen and her daughter

Why Hope Clinic is for MEN, too

I truly believe everything starts with the family. If we could all grow up in healthy, functional, happy families, a lot of the world’s problems would be solved. That family can take a lot of different shapes – but unfortunately, it’s pretty rare in today’s society.

A few years ago at Hope Clinic, we started really working with our male clients. Our guys were coming in and just like the ladies, they had a lot of issues like learning to be a parent and struggling to be a responsible and supportive partner. A lot of them were raised in families without fathers, so they never had a role model to teach them what it looks like to be a man. We decided it wasn’t fair to help the women coming in – to build them up and give them all this support to help bring these beautiful babies into the world – and then send them back to a partner, who could never help them build a real home. 

 

So, I got to work with these guys! We quickly realized what I think we already knew; they had a lot of other issues they were bringing into the relationships. But primarily, they struggled with the same things – job related stress and depression, commitment issues, addiction to pornography, and valuing women for who they are and not what they can give.

For example, I recently worked with a wonderful couple who, on the outside, looked like they had it all. Both were successful, beautiful, charming people, and pillars in the Nashville community. But once their front door closed, they were wrecked. He had a pornography addiction which led to multiple affairs, and she had a lot of self-worth issues. The thing is, they also had three young children, and they wanted to make it work. So, aiming to fix the four pillars of any relationship, we got to work on their PIES (physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual connection). For months, we discussed trust and communication. We looked at the areas where they had both fallen short in their marriage.

Individually, I worked with him on his addiction to pornography, which is more addictive than any drug, including cocaine and heroin. We had to essentially reshape his expectations and reality on what a healthy sexual relationship looks like. Then, we set up boundaries and gave his wife the control she needed to rebuild faith in their relationship. It took a lot of work and a lot of time, but the good news is they both say their marriage is stronger now than it ever has been. We fixed the fundamental flaws, and now they can focus on rebuilding their marriage and being healthy role models for their kids. 

I’ll tell you what I tell my clients: everything is a choice. You have to wake up every day and decide to be a good person and a good spouse – to love your partner the way they need and want to be loved. It isn’t easy, but at very least, even if you end up separating, you can say you fought the good fight. You really tried. And in the process, you helped make each other better. 

Frankly, I’m tired of hearing about families breaking up. I want people to be happy. It’s what God wants for us – for us to be happy. The best way I know to do that is to have long-lasting relationships with the people you love. Your spouse needs to be as exciting to you the day you die as they were the day you got married. The thing is, that can happen. In fact, I see it happen with our clients every day. That’s what keeps me going – it’s what gives me hope.

- Terry Cheatham, Therapist

What I learned from my mom...

We all have "mom sayings" that pop into our head at certain times like, "Eat your vegetables" and "Did you remember to wash behind your ears?" and "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you too?" Sometimes we would heed her advice, and other times we would pretend we didn't hear her. But there are few lessons that actually stuck with us through the years and were even taught to our own children.

We asked our staff at Hope Clinic to think of the most important thing they learned from their mom and here's what they said:

"Show respect to your elders regardless if they are right or wrong, and anything can be paid off with food!"

Renée Rizzo

"Let go and trust God!" I called her wondering how I was to protect my son from his own crazy antics.  My mother laughed saying I taught her very early on that God was going to have to watch over and protect us.  It was humanly impossible for her to even try to keep my siblings and I safe (we were an adventures group of kids).   I learned to let go and give my son the opportunity to stretch his wing (after explaining he can’t really fly).

Desirée O'Neill

"Always be kind to others, especially those that feel left out."

Cindi Barrett

"How to garden (Connect with nature), How to clean a house spotlessly (Have high standards), and The homemade version of most things is always better (You have the talent and power to do many things yourself)."

Emmely Duncan

"How to serve sacrificially and always be there for people in need."

Stasi Egli

"Mind over matter." She always told me that I could do anything I put my mind to and not to let circumstances or the task/matter at hand overwhelm me.

Mallori Cain

"Selflessness, long suffering, unrelenting faith, confidence in the Lord and self confidence."

Karen Hyden

"Showing kindness and compassion to others."  She has always lived this out in her daily life—acting and speaking in kindness to friends, family, strangers no matter the situation. 

Brandiann Rellinger

"Be patient with women. Some women more than others need time to process. Guys need to be patient, let it breathe, and never leave a fight even it’s really uncomfortable."

Josh Blackburn

"Unconditional love, how to receive it and how to give it."

Marie Gilland

"People Matter Most." I’m not sure if this is something my mother ever said aloud, but it’s something she’s taught me every day simply by the way she lives her life. I’ve spent most of my life watching her serve other people – our family, her friends, the church, and random people she meets on the street (or in elevators or the grocery store or anywhere else!). She is committed to being fully present in the little things – interrupting what she’s doing for a phone call from a friend, making a homemade dinner every night, or sending cards to celebrate everyone’s everything.  She’s equally committed to big things. One of my favorite mom-isms is “You have to show up for the big things” meaning weddings, funerals, celebrations or really anything that matters to the person in question. I’ve seen her cook thousands of meals for people who are hurting and rearrange her schedule a million times just so she can be there in the audience cheering someone on. She brightens everyone’s day and so intentionally makes the people she meets feel valued. To her, everyone matters, and everyone is important. By watching her I’ve learned the most important question you can ask yourself at the end of your day is, “did I love people well today?” because really, in the end, that’s the only thing that matters. 

Angie Stapleton

"If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Terry Cheatham

"Be responsible with your money and take care of your belongings."

Jared Larry

"Always be grateful and thankful. Show gratitude. Say please and thank you. Always write thank-you cards!"

Sara Chang

Safer Campuses. Brighter Futures. Prevent Sexual Violence.

Anyone who has spent time on a college campus recently knows they are much different now than even 10 years ago. Social media has changed everything. Students put their entire lives online. At Belmont, I have the privilege of working with our college athletes. Like all students, they face enormous social pressure to showcase “risky behaviors” through social media. However, if they choose to participate and post such things – especially given their athlete status – they are making decisions with ramifications that could impact the rest of their lives.

Two things recently led us to take up the issue of sexual violence with our student athletes. The first was the highly-publicized recent events at another local university. The second was recent changes in Title IX. We are now required to report any suspicion of harassment or abuse. While this is wonderful in theory, administrators have had many discussions on whether this allows students to feel safe or shuts people down, knowing anything they insinuate must be reported and they may face social backlash.

Around the same time this was implemented, Hope Clinic’s therapist, Terry Cheatham, spoke at my church, and I was introduced to the clinic and their prevention program. Soon after, we welcomed Terry and the clinic’s CEO Renée Rizzo to speak to our athletes. We could not have asked for two more perfect people to lead these trainings. Terry is extremely passionate and educated, and Renée instantly connected with the females given her history as a student athlete.

They divided the students into two groups. With the females, it was important for us to help give them a voice, teach them to protect themselves, and emphasize that if they are a victim, it is not their fault and they should not be ashamed. The females said they were shocked by the statistics Renée shared. It was especially powerful when she split them into groups. One in four women will be assaulted on a college campus, and it hit home that it could be any one of the people in their group – a friend or even themselves.

  

For the males, they took a different approach by dealing with the over-sexualization of young men and women, learning to be positive bystanders, making healthy choices with alcohol and pornography, and addressing rape culture. We’ve hosted similar seminars with other organizations, but the males said Terry was able to keep their attention and they felt comfortable talking about these sensitive subjects. 

Afterwards, Renée and Terry gave feedback and suggestions for practical improvements directly from the students – places on campus in need of additional lighting, information on the location of campus security cameras, protecting students in parking lots, and more. We’re grateful students had a venue to ask for things they need to feel safe on campus – which is, of course, a top priority for the university.

Since our session, we know students have sought counseling individually. While we offer counseling on campus, not everyone feels comfortable walking through those doors, so we’re glad this provided an alternative for someone to get the help they need in a place where they feel safe and anonymous.

In this day and age, our students constantly face ethical and moral decisions. Unfortunately, risky behaviors have simply become the social norm. We’re grateful to partner with an organization that gives our students the tools and confidence to make healthy, responsible choices in a culture that continually asks them to do the opposite.

- Heather Copeland, Assistant Athletic Director for Compliance, Belmont University 

The Waiting Season of Easter

I have a lot of family memories and traditions edged in my brain surrounding Easter. It started with Lent and some ashes. It included making a lot of Easter bread, meat pies and ‘Pastiera di Grano’ (a breakfast version of Italian cheesecake with wheat grain). It also included wearing a spring dress and hat complete with white lace socks and black patent leather shoes as we visited our Godparents and other Italian relatives.

Over the years, I have a better understanding of this ‘pre-Easter’ season than I did as a youth. In my head Lent was about ‘giving up stuff’ – like chocolate or popcorn or whatever my vice at the time was. If I was honest, my motivation was purely to lose 10 pounds before the Easter feast. Today I see this time as much more about digging even deeper in my faith by reading one of the gospels and reconnecting with who Jesus was and is and what His sacrifice meant and means today. You don’t need to get ashes to do this, but some people like a visual marker to begin this season.

Of course the finale of the Easter Season isn’t just Easter Day. It begins with Palm Sunday (yes I still remember dad soaking those palm leaves to make special crosses) and includes Holy Thursday (complete with the Last Supper and the washing of the feet), finally reaching the solemnness of Good Friday before the celebration of the Resurrection Sunday (or Easter). I was always sad for people who only showed up on Easter. I wondered…did they really understand the cost of the Cross? And if not, how does Easter seem so exciting?

I think for many people the cost of the Cross became abundantly clear with the viewing of The Passion of Christ. After watching that there is no denying the emotional and physical cost that Jesus went through that day. The cleaned up version of Jesus at the Sermon on the Mount or the one in a white robe on Easter is much easier to think of. But sitting in the tension of Good Friday and Easter Sunday is the dreaded Saturday…the waiting season.

And 2,000 years later, Saturday is still the hardest day for me. I know more every day the cost of my sin and am grateful more and more for the price Jesus paid on my behalf for my salvation, so each new Good Friday draws me closer to Him. I like celebrating the victory on Easter Sunday and I look forward to celebrating that for eternity on the other side of Heaven. But Saturday is a rough day. It represents the seasons and times where God seems silent…where Hope seems gone, where the Enemy seems to be winning, and when doubt creeps in. Especially if it’s something I have been waiting for God’s redemption or answer on for weeks or months or even years. It is in those moments I hang on more quietly but more fiercely to God. So in this Easter season if Saturday is seeming like a long day (week, month or year), be encouraged that I am praying for you. And Sunday WILL come. He has not forgotten us. He is Risen! 

Renée Rizzo, CEO/President

Women's History Month and the Warrior Women we Serve

As a woman in leadership, you would think I would have a lot to say about this topic...and I do. Yet, as I write this, I worry too about the direction in which these messages can go. I DO love that there are strong women in history who have paved the way so I can actually be a CEO and have this space to write. But as a woman in leadership, I can also say this topic makes me somewhat uncomfortable. I don’t want to be labeled as a strong female leader. I really just want to be seen as a strong leader. Or better yet, a strong person.  As much as I like to be in control, I also like to relinquish control. I like to look pretty some days and I also like my sweats. I like to be on the front page and other days I like to hide at home. I want my life to have purpose and meaning, but I accept the fact that I may never be as well-known as Taylor Swift. Does she deserve the crown? Sure. But guess who else does? No, not me J. I think of the women we serve at Hope Clinic; those coming in with an unplanned pregnancy and those trying to live with the consequences of a pregnancy loss. They are all amazing warriors to me, and some of them may never make the front page or any 'Women of History' list.

The first women that I think of as playing a strong role in history are those who walked beside and helped finance Jesus during his time in ministry. Those who bravely stood at the Cross while He was crucified. Those who first saw His resurrected body. I love that Jesus knew 2,000 years later the strong role women would play in history. And even further back I think of Esther, Ruth, and Rahab…pretty strong and remarkable women who played an important role in history. Sometimes they acted bravely. Sometimes their very presence was an act of bravery.

Fast forward to the last 100 years and the list includes many great women who changed history. I am sure our lists may be different depending on your religious or political views (which I won’t even touch here J). I do think, no matter who is on your list, that as women have made more and more of a mark on society, it has brought about both good things and new roadblocks to face. In our attempt to be stronger, we sometimes come off as not needing any help. I have seen men lose their chivalry and start to question their role as we grow. I think we are still just trying to figure it out.

This brings me to the women we served 30 years ago and those we serve today. What is the same? These women are facing life-altering decisions that impact their life first and foremost…more so than their partners.  The brunt of the decisions and the workload falls on her shoulders. What has changed? On one hand, the world wants to push the man further and further away from her body, her choice, and her decisions. Yet from where I sit, I am not sure that has always been to her benefit. We know full well the cost of young people growing up without a father figure in the home. We know over 90% of those incarcerated have no father. We also know of many women who are actually our clients BECAUSE of a poor father figure in her life. So while we continue to equip and empower these warrior women who walk in our doors, we are also trying to engage their partners in the process. We want them to stand beside her, support her, share in the responsibility and the decision making, and yes, be a part of the parenting process. This is good for her and it is good for the child.  We have male therapists talking to the partner so he better knows how to support her. We also have these male therapists talking to the woman so she knows how to better ask for what she needs and deserves. This is a radical change from the original pregnancy center model and one that many others still hold today. But it is one I think is vital for the real long-term success of the women we serve.

So I think being a strong woman doesn’t have to exclude having strong men in her life; just like there is nothing wrong with a strong woman choosing to stand beside her strong husband and taking the number two spot. I think great women in history have never followed  one prototype. She can be strong AND meek; empowering AND submissive; outspoken AND quiet; making a mark on the whole world AND just in her own home. I thank God for the many women before me who made it possible for me to have a voice, and I look forward to the women of tomorrow who may have opportunities because of some tiny contribution I have possibly made. 

How to experience the Beatitudes in our Daily Life

The Beatitudes that begin the Sermon on the Mount in the Gospel of Matthew are one of the most talked about sections of the New Testament. They are seen as blessings with two phrases in each: the condition of the heart and the result tying the Old and New Testament together. Hope Clinic is using the Beatitudes as our theme for this year's Hope for the Future Gala in a special art exhibit through the amazing work of world-renowned photographer Jeremy Cowart and the courage of our clients, volunteers and staff willing to share their story. To say I am excited by this year's approach is an understatement. I know God will use this night in a special way beyond what I have ever seen before.

Of course this meant I needed to refresh my memory of the Beatitudes since I did not have them all memorized J. And here is my truth: while there are some things on that list that seem like real blessings in the present (meek, merciful, pure in heart and peacemakers), the other half is a list where the blessings don’t seem to happen this side of heaven. But the older I get, the more I realize I have experienced all of these ‘blessings’ and in fact, even under persecution, God has this amazing ability to truly allow you to be blessed this side of Heaven if you let Him. To receive or see the blessing in any circumstance takes a real relinquishment of your trust over to the One who created Heaven and Earth.

I think what I like most about the theme of the Beatitudes is the reality that if you live long enough as a believer you WILL in fact experience them all in your life. It may be distressful to hear that (who wants to mourn, be poor, persecuted or thirsty?), but it is also what connects us to each other. It levels the playing field, so to speak. We all have the same chance to receive and live through experiences that bring about blessings that go far beyond joy or sadness. That means it is true for you, me, and every client who walks in our doors. And most times, these moments of ‘blessings’ have a mix of both joy and sadness, not either or. The real blessing is that God is present beyond emotion at a soul level. A place only He can reach you and connect with you. And because of this I know I can walk beside someone who has shared in that same type of blessing, making it possible for me to connect to other people on a soul level. I believe this is the kind of connection God desires for us to have with Him and our neighbor.

Do you want to know more about this and understand how this ties together with our work? Join us March 31^st at Houston Station in Nashville. Click here for more information. 

Renée Rizzo

President/CEO

10 Healthy Ways to Keep Your Marriage/Relationship Moving Forward

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching I am always asked by couples, “How do you keep your marriage/relationship moving in the right direction?”  These are some simple truths I have found that work very well.  I even have to look at these often just to keep my relationship positive.

1. Successful relationships take work.  They don’t happen in a vacuum.  They occur when the couples in them take the risk of sharing what it is that’s going on in their hearts and heads.
2. You can only change yourself, not your partner.  If you love someone and think that after a while he/she will alter his/her behaviors you find uncomfortable, think again.  If you want changes, put them out there for your partner to see so your partner knows what you need.
3. All arguments stem from our own fear or pain.  When upset occurs, check out what’s going on inside of you rather than get angry with your partner.  The truth is that we usually aren’t upset for the reasons we think.
4. Understand that men and women are very different.  We’re not from Mars or Venus; we’re not even in the same solar system.  Understanding and celebrating our differences will make living together more peaceful, interesting, and fun.
5. Honor each other in some way every day.  Every morning you have the opportunity to make your relationship sweeter and deeper by recommitting to your mate.  Feeling respected and cherished by the one you love makes life much nicer.
6. Anger is a waste of time.  It’s a relationship killer, because it makes you self-absorbed and won’t allow you to see the good. Give yourself some time to calm down and then gently discuss what’s going on with you.
7. Get regular tune-ups.  Go to a couple’s workshop, talk with a therapist, or read a relationship book together at least once a year.  You will pick up ideas, and the process alone will strengthen your connection.
8. Find a way to become and stay best friends.  For some this sounds unromantic, but for those who live it, most say it’s the best part of their time together.
9. Be responsible for your own happiness.  No other person can make you happy; it’s something you have to do on your own.  Look within to find out what piece may be missing for you.
10. Give what you want to get.  Our needs change with time.  If you’d like to feel understood, try being more understanding.  If you want to feel more love, try giving more.  It’s a simple program that really works.  

Most of all, enjoy being with one another.  Love is a gift from God!!

Terry Cheatham is the Male and Parent Counselor at Hope Clinic. He also facilitates Marriage workshops for Marriage Helper as well as counsels couples who attend.

Mentor Spotlight - Cindi Parten

Since January was National Mentoring Month, we sat down with Cindi, who has been volunteering at Hope Clinic for over 20 years. She and others like her are the reason most of our clients say they were treated with respect, would return for further services, commit to making healthier life choices, and would recommend Hope Clinic to a friend.

HC: How long have you been a mentor to our clients?

Cindi: The exact date of my beginning as a volunteer at Hope Clinic is not a clear memory, but I do know that it was something I decided to do when my youngest child, my daughter Emily, was just over a year old. She is now 21, so it's been approximately 20 years. It was an ad in my church bulletin which prompted me to make the call to volunteer, after having been encouraged by someone already involved with Hope Clinic ( at the time it was Crisis Pregnancy Support Center ). I was trained in a two week evening class by Lucy Freed, the founding director, and Carolyn Hubbard, my first supervisor, who still remains in my heart as one of the most special people I've ever met.

HC: What keeps you coming back to Hope Clinic?

Cindi: Speaking of the most special people I've ever met, the folks I interact with while volunteering with Hope Clinic, staff and volunteers are great people to be around. It's a given that they're loving, caring people because they are there!  It's always very comfortable to share my faith in their company and to ask for prayers in times of special need, and to feel the power of their prayers at those times as well.  In my experience, this type of atmosphere is not often found in other workplaces. The work I do at Hope Clinic is something I believe is a really good fit for me. I'm really good at listening, I feel compassion for the clients in their often difficult situations, drawing on the difficulties I've experienced in my own life, and I really tend to genuinely LIKE most of the clients I've seen over these last 20 years, which makes it so easy for me to love them in the way I think God would have me love them for Him. Volunteering with Hope Clinic also gives me an outlet in a much more social way than much of the work I do on a regular basis.

HC: What would you say to someone who is considering being a mentor to our clients?

Cindi: If someone is considering becoming a mentor, I would say if you don't have difficulty with listening to other people's problems, and can listen without judging them, and don't mind too much sometimes not knowing whether your efforts have made a clear impact or have just planted a seed which may blossom later, and are comfortable with being there for them for up to two years, AND knowing that the gifts which the clients are given ultimately come from God, then you should jump on it!

HC: What have you learned about yourself through mentoring?

Cindi: In volunteering with Hope Clinic I've learned that what I think and do as a mentor is not nearly so important as my relationship with God. The stronger that relationship is, the more the clients appear to be benefitted. I have learned that as much as some situations frightened me in the beginning, that ultimately trusting God to do His work is where peace is found. I have learned that we are all human beings and that all any of us really wants is to be loved, and that it is my place to try to show God's love to our clients. There is so much more I could say about Hope Clinic and its meaning in my life, but I will just say that I am privileged to be a small part of such a wonderful and effective organization.

Media and a Healthy Self-Esteem

The Prevention Program of Hope Clinic for Women exists to provide targeted education to teens and young adults in the community, not only on the risks of becoming sexually active, but also the importance of healthy relationships and healthy self-esteem. One area that we discuss in our prevention presentations is the importance of understanding true empowerment. This is the empowerment that comes from having a healthy view of self and pursuing the things in life that bring lasting results.

A major topic of this discussion of empowerment is the cultural view that states if a woman exposes her body or poses provocatively, she is modeling empowerment and a healthy view of self. One problem we highlight with this view is when an individual is posing for these types of pictures, she may feel empowered for the moment, but once the photos are published she loses all power of what others do with or say about these images. While entertainment reporters might state that “owning” one’s sexuality is empowering, it ultimately takes away the power of the woman posing and impacts the prevalent view of women as a whole.

Sometimes I end up being out of the loop on things that are going on in pop-culture, so just this week I was made aware of a story that aired in February of this year drawing attention to the impact this type of exposure had on a model in her relationships and view of self. Kylie Bisutti, a former Victoria Secret Angel publicly stepped down from modeling lingerie and other provocative and revealing fashions in order to align her professional work with her personal faith and views. She credits this decision to the fact that she wanted to honor her husband by not sharing her body with the general public and the impact she felt her modeling was having on the views of younger women who look up to her, including her cousin who had expressed that she thought she might want to stop eating so that she could look more like her model cousin.

I applaud Mrs. Bisutti for taking a stand for what she believes and publicly making a statement to younger women who look up to her. This story further emphasizes the need provide education on these topics. Hope Clinic for Women is that source of education in the Nashville area.

For more information on our prevention program, contact Amy Moseley amoseley@hopeclinicforwomen.org

To find out more on this story you can follow the links below:

ABC Good Morning America video: http://youtu.be/5CDKLrsUyco

BLAZE February 7, 2012 article http://www.theblaze.com/stories/kylie-bisutti-quits-victorias-secret-lingerie-modeling-career-because-of-her-christian-faith/

Amy is the Client Programs Manager at Hope Clinic for Women. She has worked in the field of Mental Health Advocacy and Counseling since 2008. In addition to her work at Hope Clinic for Women, Amy has experience working with victims of sexual assault, special needs foster care, and individuals dealing with issues related to trauma as well as over 10 years of experience in full-time Christian Ministry.

Run for Life 2011

A big part of what I do at Hope Clinic for Women is organizing events, and I love it. I am a list-making, people-organizing, diagram-drawing nerd. Happiness for me is a clipboard and purpose. At current count we have 5 fundraising events and are toying with adding more. Last Saturday was a biggie. For the 28th or 29th year, our staff organized a Fun For Life event; consisting of both 5k and 1 Mile runs along with a free Family Fun Fest. Over 250 people turned out to run, walk or play in support of the life-saving, life-changing ministry of HOPE. It was a wonderful day of sunshine and fun; and equally as important, critical monies were raised that will allow Hope Clinic for Women to continue to serve.

There are roughly 357 5Ks in Nashville (possible slight exaggeration), most in support of some wonderful cause – curing disease, improving quality of life, saving something worthwhile or some just for sport. Humbling for sure, when you are asking people to choose yours to support over others. Obviously we spent some time really thinking how to promote and recruit not only runners but also fundraisers, and the first question was WHY US?

I believe that our organization is like no other. We serve people in a crisis that often comes with shame, with darkness and secrecy following closely behind. Personally I have wondered if many abortions happen not because a child could not be welcomed, but rather that the truth might just be too hard to tell. We exist to be present in the first days of crisis, to counsel medically and emotionally to bring light back into the situation. To many young women, a member of our staff will be the first person they will have to face with the news of an unplanned pregnancy, we pray for the opportunity to have that visit and take the responsibility of it very seriously. We stand faithfully in the gap for churches and families when the young woman feels unable to turn there first. Not to mention all the other wonderful ways that we serve: like counseling parents and partners, helping after a pregnancy loss, counseling through postpartum depression, and offering prevention programs to youth.

I was happy to share that message with people when I asked them to join us and support our mission, and that was the message that we celebrated Saturday when together we prayed, walked, ran, jumped, ate and played.

Not a bad job, right?

Beverly Rogers, Director of Community Relations, has been with Hope Clinic for Women for over a year and is charged with strengthening and building business relationships both with donors and the medical community and to raise awareness of the services available at HCFW, as well as the needs we have. She oversees 4 major annual fund raising events as well as church giving.

Beginning Miracles

"There is a miracle in every new beginning" - Herman Hesse

This is the quote I have above my son's crib. A brand new baby entering into the world by divine intervention I definitely call a miracle. I also love this quote because it reminds me of the miracle that happens when people move from bondage to freedom. This is why I chose to become a counselor and especially why I work at Hope Clinic.

Hope Clinic is exactly a new beginning for those in need. It is a safe, loving place to help clients find their new start. Women who hold shame, guilt, anger, or sadness come in and are able to sort through the meaning of these feelings. It is a place to find where your old, shameful self ends and a new freed self begins.

Beginnings are not easy, they can actually be extremely painful. Just as giving birth to a baby is painful, so can repairing a wounded relationship or giving up an unhealthy way to cope. The great thing is that we are here to walk along side of clients through that pain and help them reach the other side of healing. We hope for the miracle of a new beginning.

It is a miracle that God can take what is broken and make it whole. We believe He can piece together something that the world says is not fixable and repair it. This is why Hope Clinic is here and we have not given up hope. We believe in miracles.

Cindi Barrett, M.A. has been at Hope Clinic over 2 years and provides professional counseling and intern supervision. She is also a new mother, helping her relate in a more intimate way to the clients she serves.

"Two Lines"

“Two lines!” As one of the pregnancy services counselors here at Hope Clinic for Women, I got used to saying (or at least thinking) this little phrase on a regular basis. Nearly every week, I saw pregnancy tests with those two little pink lines, which meant the pregnancy test was positive! After seeing a handful of positive pregnancy test, it was easy to normalize it and not think of the true implications of those words. “Two lines!” I tried to understand my clients, learn more about their circumstances, and support them in the way that they needed- that is what I loved and was trained to do. However, I could never truly know how it felt and what it meant that their test came back positive. I had never experienced the stress, the joy, the excitement, the shock, or the fear that comes with an unplanned pregnancy. Though I tried as hard as I could to understand my clients, I never truly knew what it was like to take a walk in their shoes.

A little over 3 months ago, however, I administered a pregnancy test that changed my perspective forever. Because this time, I was the client. At first glance, it looked like the test was going to be negative. However, I had to give it 3-5 minutes to process so that I could make an accurate reading! I thought, “5 minutes!!! I can’t wait that long!!!” I was so antsy that I had to just walk away and distract myself with TV while I waited. I walked back into the room where the test strip was sitting on the countertop, and sure enough, two lines. I thought maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, so I promptly snatched it up and started inspecting it to make sure. Of course, my eyes were not deceiving me. I just stared at the test strip and said, “two lines!” These were the most exciting and frightening words I have ever uttered. I was feeling so many emotions all at once. “I am going to be a mommy!” “I hope I’m a good mommy.” “Are my husband and I ready for this?” “He’s going to be a great dad!” “Is the baby okay?” “I am going to love this baby so much!” “What am I going to do about school and work?” “We will figure it out.” “Are you sure Lord?” “Thank You Lord!”

This experience has allowed me to see my clients in a whole new light. My situation and set of circumstances is not exactly the same as anyone else’s, but on some level, I get it now. I understand the joy, the confusion, the fear, the shock, the stress, and the excitement. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you are going through, an unplanned pregnancy is a shock to the system. I now have even more respect and empathy for the women who walk through our door. More than ever, my goal is to meet them wherever they are at and support them in any way I can. I want to know what those “two lines” mean to them and how it is going to affect their lives. Everyone’s story is different and has its own unique set of difficulties and obstacles.

Fortunately for me, I am very blessed. I have a house, a stable job, health insurance, food on the table, a college education, close friends, supportive family, an amazing church, a loving husband, and a relationship with the Lord. I see clients all of the time who have nothing on that list. Woah! I have all of these blessings and I still get anxious! I cannot imagine going through this experience without these things, like so many of our clients do. My own unplanned pregnancy has really helped me put things in perspective and has given me even more compassion for the women that we serve at Hope Clinic for Women. Our purpose, our mission, and our passion for touching lives and instilling hope means so much more to me than ever before. I am blessed to be a part of this ministry and I am so proud of the work that is done inside these walls (and outside these walls.) Hope Clinic for Women offers the resources, support, love, counsel, and hope that our clients may not receive anywhere else. There is song that says, “There is hope for the hopeless, rest for the weary, love for the broken heart, there is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing, He'll meet you wherever you are. So cry out to Jesus.” I am so blessed and humbled by the fact that Hope Clinic for Women gives hope, rest, love, grace, forgiveness, mercy, and healing to women and families every day. We get to be Jesus to a world that so desperately needs Him.

Cassidy Nelson has been on staff for almost a year after starting as an intern with us. She supervises the BRIDGE Program (Building Relationships with Individuals and Directing them towards Gaining Education), the Maternity Home, and is also one of Hope Clinic's counselors. Cassidy and her husband have been married for four years and are expecting their first child early next year.

Hope Clinic... From a New Employee's Perspective

So… I’m new here. I knew about Hope Clinic for Women before I started working here in April, but didn’t know the depth of services they provided. I have been in awe since I started and am so proud to be a part of this great organization.

Yes, I’m the marketing person here, but this is not a marketing piece I promise. It is my job to market our organization to the community and present it in its best light in every PR opportunity. However, that is not why I’m writing this blog.

I’m writing this blog because I think some of my friends were a little scared when I told them about my new position… I assured them that it wasn’t a political organization and that it was welcoming to anyone and everyone who walked through the doors. I’m sure glad that my experience here is true to that.

WWJD? (What Would Jesus Do?)

I remember these bracelets well and I had one my freshman year at the University of Tennessee. Were they cheesy? Yes, but they were also a great reminder of how to live our lives. When I came to Hope Clinic, I was overwhelmed with the WWJD attitude here. Our clients come from all different walks of life and with all sorts of different thoughts on how they are going to handle their situation. Hope Clinic welcomes them all… no judgment, just love.

I’ve never had an unexpected pregnancy. I’ve never had to face that tough decision. I’ve had to make other tough decisions though and I’ve made some bad decisions over the course of my almost 33 years. Luckily, I have experienced an overwhelming amount of love and grace in my life and I hope that for everyone who faces a bump in the road… that the same love and grace are extended to them in the midst of their crisis or bad decision.

Hope Clinic does that…

You're not alone in your struggle. We are Hope Clinic for Women, and we're here for you. We listen, we understand, and we respect your right to privacy and confidentiality. We offer comfort, support, counseling, plus free or low-cost medical treatment from trained professionals.
Anyone can visit Hope Clinic for Women. You simply have to walk through our door, where hope is waiting.

I sit in staff meetings amazed at the hearts of the staff that work here… amazing people doing extraordinary things with their gifts; from our medical staff, to our counselors, to the fundraising staff, receptionist and CEO… All women (and one man) with amazing hearts for God, who are living out what Jesus would truly do every single day. There is a genuine concern to help women, men and families. There is a genuine goal to raise money for the purpose of providing more services to our clients. It’s an amazing thing to witness and I am humbled by their hearts and their drive… And I am honored to be one of them.

Alison Cooke has been on staff at Hope Clinic for Women since April 2011. She is responsible for events, marketing, PR, websites and social media. After several years of looking for the right fit, she is sure she's found it here at Hope Clinic.

When Did Adoption Become a Four Letter Word?

At Hope Clinic for Women we are about choices. We make sure that every client that enters our door knows that she has choices -that even in crisis, taking the time to carefully consider those choices always allows for the best decision. I don't know about you, but waiting until my hair is on fire usually is not the best time to consider making a salon appointment.

We make no apologies here that we believe choosing life is the best choice - whether the young woman decides to parent the child herself or makes the incredibly selfless choice to place the baby for adoption. We share referrals to wonderful groups that can help the client with the difficult, but beautiful task of finding adoptive parents- a loving couple that are in most cases desperately seeking a child to love. And in the cases where they choose not to continue the pregnancy, we stand by ready to offer post-abortion counseling – seeking always to empower women to move to a place of health.

So why are more young women in unplanned pregnancies, not choosing adoption (less than 10%)? I did a little research, and the US Dept of HHS says they are not really sure. I have some theories - strictly of the layman variety. Research shows that the Millennial Generation is very family oriented and wish to have children - even if NOW is not when they planned it. Deciding to step up and parent makes sense to them. At the same time, our culture is currently glamorizing the teen mom with reality shows that - while they do point out the struggles - do it with $$ and celebrity. Watching a couple of those episodes, it is no wonder that most young women believe they could do at least as good a job, if not better, than most shown.

I am in awe of the young women that choose to parent. It is a difficult decision and means that they must work hard to make new plans, create new dreams and focus their life on someone else. I know being a mom is one of the hardest, yet most rewarding jobs that there is, and I completely support their selfless choice. I still wonder - how could we better support them if adoption might be a great choice in a particular situation?

Let us know what you think.


Beverly Rogers, Director of Community Relations, has been with Hope Clinic for Women for over a year and is charged with strengthening and building business relationships both with donors and the medical community and to raise awareness of the services available at HCFW, as well as the needs we have. She oversees 4 major annual fund raising events as well as church giving.

What are the Father's Rights?

Are we helping the Fathers or making it harder for them?

I have wanted to write this blog for a couple of weeks but frankly chickened out because I know this is a controversial topic. It started when I read on Yahoo about the man in Arizona who put up a billboard of himself holding an outline of a 2 month old and it said something like: “This is how old my baby would be if my ex-girlfriend did not abort my child”.

OK, first. Do I think the billboard is tacky and hurtful?... You bet!

But it raises an issue I have come to think about more and more as I work at Hope Clinic…

What are the father’s rights?

It is really hard for us to say more men need to ‘stand up and be a proper dad’ or force them to pay child support when they have no rights to the child prior to the birth. Most abortions occur when there is already a heartbeat. You can debate whether or not it is a viable life.
You can also debate whether you think ‘because the fetus is in her body, it is in fact ‘her body- her choice’.

I don’t know... I guess this all is just not sitting well with me as we are trying to get more and more men into Hope Clinic to be part of the decision. How can we want him to take part of the responsibility and part of the parenting if we only want him to have rights AFTER the woman has already done the deciding for the both of them? I know I know. Hear me out first.

I was flipping the channels and saw on both Sex and the City and another show (the name escaping me right now) about whether or not a girl even has to tell her boyfriend (or the guy she had sex with) if she is pregnant. The women were split in their opinions, but the men in the show were all of the belief they deserved to know and be a part of the decision. They were mostly frustrated that it is possible that they wouldn’t be told something so important. It may not be a life to her, but it may be to him. She may not want to raise the child but he may want to. I know we could say then he should get to vote ‘for abortion’….I guess, I wish that in a split decision we would err on the side of life. Couldn’t she go through with the pregnancy and terminate her rights if he wanted the child?

Again, I am not saying there is a simple answer… There’s not. I know fear and shame and confusion cause women to make this decision; sometimes without the guy’s knowledge. I am not condemning them. I am just sad about it. I am sad for her that she felt like she couldn’t tell him. Sad for him that he never knew and never had a voice for what may have also been his only child too. I’m just raising the question…

But I am also thankful that at Hope Clinic we are creating an environment that does allow for open, honest, yet hard discussions between the girl AND the father of the baby. We provide one on one and couples counseling for both of them. No matter what they decide, we want them BOTH to know they are not alone and that we can help them. That’s why our tagline reads: “A Safe Place for Tough Choices”.