As a woman in leadership, you would think I would have a lot
to say about this topic...and I do. Yet, as I write this, I worry too about the
direction in which these messages can go. I DO love that there are strong women
in history who have paved the way so I can actually be a CEO and have this
space to write. But as a woman in leadership, I can also say this topic makes
me somewhat uncomfortable. I don’t want to be labeled as a strong female
leader. I really just want to be seen as a strong leader. Or better yet, a
strong person. As much as I like to be
in control, I also like to relinquish control. I like to look pretty some days
and I also like my sweats. I like to be on the front page and other days I like
to hide at home. I want my life to have purpose and meaning, but I accept the fact
that I may never be as well-known as Taylor Swift. Does she deserve the crown?
Sure. But guess who else does? No, not me J.
I think of the women we serve at Hope Clinic; those coming in with an unplanned
pregnancy and those trying to live with the consequences of a pregnancy loss.
They are all amazing warriors to me, and some of them may never make the front
page or any 'Women of History' list.
The first women that I think of as playing a strong role in
history are those who walked beside and helped finance Jesus during his time in
ministry. Those who bravely stood at the Cross while He was crucified. Those
who first saw His resurrected body. I love that Jesus knew 2,000 years later the
strong role women would play in history. And even further back I think of
Esther, Ruth, and Rahab…pretty strong and remarkable women who played an
important role in history. Sometimes they acted bravely. Sometimes their very
presence was an act of bravery.
Fast forward to the last 100 years and the list includes
many great women who changed history. I am sure our lists may be different
depending on your religious or political views (which I won’t even touch here J). I do think, no
matter who is on your list, that as women have made more and more of a mark on
society, it has brought about both good things and new roadblocks to face. In
our attempt to be stronger, we sometimes come off as not needing any help. I
have seen men lose their chivalry and start to question their role as we grow.
I think we are still just trying to figure it out.
This brings me to the women we served 30 years ago and those
we serve today. What is the same? These women are facing life-altering
decisions that impact their life first and foremost…more so than their
partners. The brunt of the decisions and
the workload falls on her shoulders. What has changed? On one hand, the world
wants to push the man further and further away from her body, her choice, and
her decisions. Yet from where I sit, I am not sure that has always been to her
benefit. We know full well the cost of young people growing up without a father
figure in the home. We know over 90% of those incarcerated have no father. We also
know of many women who are actually our clients BECAUSE of a poor father figure
in her life. So while we continue to
equip and empower these warrior women who walk in our doors, we are also trying
to engage their partners in the process. We want them to stand beside her,
support her, share in the responsibility and the decision making, and yes, be a
part of the parenting process. This is good for her and it is good for the
child. We have male therapists talking
to the partner so he better knows how to support her. We also have these male
therapists talking to the woman so she knows how to better ask for what she
needs and deserves. This is a radical change from the original pregnancy center
model and one that many others still hold today. But it is one I think is vital
for the real long-term success of the women we serve.
So I think being a strong woman doesn’t have to exclude
having strong men in her life; just like there is nothing wrong with a strong
woman choosing to stand beside her strong husband and taking the number two
spot. I think great women in history have never followed one prototype. She can be strong AND meek;
empowering AND submissive; outspoken AND quiet; making a mark on the whole world
AND just in her own home. I thank God for the many women before me who made it
possible for me to have a voice, and I look forward to the women of tomorrow
who may have opportunities because of some tiny contribution I have possibly
made.
