Through the relatively short time that I have lived on this earth, there are few things that have impacted me as deeply as pain. We have all experienced it before, and we must all draw our next breath knowing that we will be forced to experience it once again.
On October 5th of this year, I experienced a sorrow that I have never had to experience before; the unexpected death of a child. Although this young boy was not my own, the glimpse of pain I experienced in my physical relation to him and his parents clearly reminded me how intensely the experience of pain can change us. Pain changes everything. In this situation, it is clear that the reality of the pain that we have experienced will dictate how we will live the rest of our lives.
Where is the beauty in this pain? Where is the beauty in knowing that this child will never be physically held again on this earth? Where is the beauty in feeling the deep cut to heart when we understand that we will never be able to see his first day of High School, let alone his first day of kindergarten?
The beauty partially comes in knowing that his memory will never be lost, in knowing that he will never have to experience pain again, and that the love that was shown to him will remain timelessly deep and uninhibited.
But pain can produce something else in us that, without the experience of it, we can never hope to develop; thankfulness. To experience death and pain is to admit that there is something bigger than us and that there are things we can’t control. To be thankful is to admit the very same truth. The great news is that, if we let it, the pain we experience can lead to a level of thankfulness that we cannot unlock without the key that is PAIN.
Thankfulness is a matter of perspective. Perspective is aligned when we experience and progress through pain. True thankfulness should be viewed in light of the pain we experience. Many times our perspective is refined and aligned even further by the pain others experience. Think for just a moment on something you are thankful for. Now ask yourself; would you feel the level of thankfulness that you do if you had not experienced either first or second hand the pain that may come in having to do without that blessing?
Pain, including the reality of potential loss can work beautiful things in us. To push either of these things away completely will short-circuit the blessing we receive from experiencing that pain. And we are not the only ones affected. The denial of the pain we feel in any circumstance does not lead us closer to happiness, it draws us further away from the truth. To deny the painful feelings we experience is to deny the very hand of God who seeks to focus our attention on the many blessings He gives us! And I’m not sure there are many that would argue that happiness comes from denying the reality of the blessings we have been given in this life!
Thankfulness comes when we embrace, not fight against, the reality that the things that happen in this world are mostly outside of our control. To be thankful is to embrace that you have been blessed with things that you could not produce on your own.
My encouragement to you is this; as we enter the season that many of us equate with remembering the blessings we have been given, let us also remember that there are those less fortunate that we are in this world. There are people experiencing pain in ways that we have not, and hope to never experience. Embrace people in painful circumstances as often as you can, with the hope that in so doing, YOU will be made more thankful. And do what you can to help them remember this; it is not the band-aid that you place on the wound that bring thankfulness, it is the love that is shown them as they experience it. Remember how blessed you are, especially in this season, and then cause that thankfulness to grow by choosing to be a blessing to others!
Earl Burns has over 20 years of mentoring experience to teens and individuals and oversees our programs that cater specifically to the male partners and parents of Hope Clinic’s clients. He started as a volunteer at Hope Clinic and now also leads the prevention program as well as manages relationships with our other Agency partners. You can email Earl at: eburns@hopeclinicforwomen.org
Established in 1983, Hope Clinic for Women equips women, men and families to make healthy choices with unplanned pregnancies, prevention, pregnancy loss and postpartum depression.
Friday, October 21, 2011
More Young Adults Having Unsafe Sex
That is what a global study that was recently released says: http://news.yahoo.com/more-youngsters-having-unsafe-sex-global-study-231442651.html. They say unsafe sex is up 39% for Americans alone. My main problems with this article are: 1) they define ‘unsafe’ as getting pregnant or getting an std. 2) they look to Planned Parenthood as the sole voice of reason on why this is happening.
What is ‘unsafe sex’?
Yes, unplanned pregnancies and stds are the most obvious of side effects. Yes, but what about what it does to someone’s self-esteem, body image, sense of value, or moral/spiritual conflict? As an adult woman who knows her own story and the stories of hundreds of young women shared with me, I can assure you that these ‘other issues’ are just as traumatic to deal with and have just as lifelong a consequence. So let’s at least open up and discuss all the ways it is unsafe for a young couple when they have sex.
Why are they having ‘unprotected sex’?
I get it. There are many, many young adults that do not know the truth about or how to prevent an unplanned pregnancy or an std. We all have a responsibility to share the truths about birth control pills, condoms, etc. so that young people are very aware of what they do protect you from; but most importantly what they don’t protect you from. I talk to plenty of young adults who still think a condom provides 100% protection from a pregnancy or std. We know that is simply not true, but when you run print and TV ads that say: teenage pregnancy is 100% preventable and and link directly to a site that only talks about condoms, you are lying. Flat out lying. And while this pertains more to women (but men are not excluded), there is no protection of the heart and mind and moral compass when engaging in sex. You are simply in the deep end of the pool. There is no perfect safety net.
What do we do?
I wish it were just simply a matter of educating about condoms or pills or handing them out, but that doesn’t help young adults act like adults when engaging in sex. We have many clients who knew about condoms and had access to them, but still chose to not use them (I even see med students walk in here for our services). We cannot blame risky behavior solely on ignorance. Young adults (actually let me correct that…’people’) choose to ignore or have a hard time letting education change moral behavior. If that were the case we wouldn’t be checking for fake IDs at a bar, pulling over drunk drivers, cleaning up car accidents from those who were texting/talking on the cell while driving, or selling any more cigarettes. No it takes a whole lot more than educating about the risks or appealing to the fears in people. For true behavior to change, we need to also focus on the benefits of good choices; alternative ways to deal with desires (all desires) and creating more avenues for ongoing accountability. So the next time this topic comes up, I hope they do more than ask the opinions of Planned Parenthood.
Renee Rizzo is President and CEO of Hope Clinic for Women. She feels passionate about helping all people; especially women who have been hurt or broken, realize there IS hope, and that God has a purpose for each one of us.
What is ‘unsafe sex’?
Yes, unplanned pregnancies and stds are the most obvious of side effects. Yes, but what about what it does to someone’s self-esteem, body image, sense of value, or moral/spiritual conflict? As an adult woman who knows her own story and the stories of hundreds of young women shared with me, I can assure you that these ‘other issues’ are just as traumatic to deal with and have just as lifelong a consequence. So let’s at least open up and discuss all the ways it is unsafe for a young couple when they have sex.
Why are they having ‘unprotected sex’?
I get it. There are many, many young adults that do not know the truth about or how to prevent an unplanned pregnancy or an std. We all have a responsibility to share the truths about birth control pills, condoms, etc. so that young people are very aware of what they do protect you from; but most importantly what they don’t protect you from. I talk to plenty of young adults who still think a condom provides 100% protection from a pregnancy or std. We know that is simply not true, but when you run print and TV ads that say: teenage pregnancy is 100% preventable and and link directly to a site that only talks about condoms, you are lying. Flat out lying. And while this pertains more to women (but men are not excluded), there is no protection of the heart and mind and moral compass when engaging in sex. You are simply in the deep end of the pool. There is no perfect safety net.
What do we do?
I wish it were just simply a matter of educating about condoms or pills or handing them out, but that doesn’t help young adults act like adults when engaging in sex. We have many clients who knew about condoms and had access to them, but still chose to not use them (I even see med students walk in here for our services). We cannot blame risky behavior solely on ignorance. Young adults (actually let me correct that…’people’) choose to ignore or have a hard time letting education change moral behavior. If that were the case we wouldn’t be checking for fake IDs at a bar, pulling over drunk drivers, cleaning up car accidents from those who were texting/talking on the cell while driving, or selling any more cigarettes. No it takes a whole lot more than educating about the risks or appealing to the fears in people. For true behavior to change, we need to also focus on the benefits of good choices; alternative ways to deal with desires (all desires) and creating more avenues for ongoing accountability. So the next time this topic comes up, I hope they do more than ask the opinions of Planned Parenthood.
Renee Rizzo is President and CEO of Hope Clinic for Women. She feels passionate about helping all people; especially women who have been hurt or broken, realize there IS hope, and that God has a purpose for each one of us.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Run for Life 2011
A big part of what I do at Hope Clinic for Women is organizing events, and I love it. I am a list-making, people-organizing, diagram-drawing nerd. Happiness for me is a clipboard and purpose. At current count we have 5 fundraising events and are toying with adding more. Last Saturday was a biggie. For the 28th or 29th year, our staff organized a Fun For Life event; consisting of both 5k and 1 Mile runs along with a free Family Fun Fest. Over 250 people turned out to run, walk or play in support of the life-saving, life-changing ministry of HOPE. It was a wonderful day of sunshine and fun; and equally as important, critical monies were raised that will allow Hope Clinic for Women to continue to serve.
There are roughly 357 5Ks in Nashville (possible slight exaggeration), most in support of some wonderful cause – curing disease, improving quality of life, saving something worthwhile or some just for sport. Humbling for sure, when you are asking people to choose yours to support over others. Obviously we spent some time really thinking how to promote and recruit not only runners but also fundraisers, and the first question was WHY US?
I believe that our organization is like no other. We serve people in a crisis that often comes with shame, with darkness and secrecy following closely behind. Personally I have wondered if many abortions happen not because a child could not be welcomed, but rather that the truth might just be too hard to tell. We exist to be present in the first days of crisis, to counsel medically and emotionally to bring light back into the situation. To many young women, a member of our staff will be the first person they will have to face with the news of an unplanned pregnancy, we pray for the opportunity to have that visit and take the responsibility of it very seriously. We stand faithfully in the gap for churches and families when the young woman feels unable to turn there first. Not to mention all the other wonderful ways that we serve: like counseling parents and partners, helping after a pregnancy loss, counseling through postpartum depression, and offering prevention programs to youth.
I was happy to share that message with people when I asked them to join us and support our mission, and that was the message that we celebrated Saturday when together we prayed, walked, ran, jumped, ate and played.
Not a bad job, right?
Beverly Rogers, Director of Community Relations, has been with Hope Clinic for Women for over a year and is charged with strengthening and building business relationships both with donors and the medical community and to raise awareness of the services available at HCFW, as well as the needs we have. She oversees 4 major annual fund raising events as well as church giving.
There are roughly 357 5Ks in Nashville (possible slight exaggeration), most in support of some wonderful cause – curing disease, improving quality of life, saving something worthwhile or some just for sport. Humbling for sure, when you are asking people to choose yours to support over others. Obviously we spent some time really thinking how to promote and recruit not only runners but also fundraisers, and the first question was WHY US?
I believe that our organization is like no other. We serve people in a crisis that often comes with shame, with darkness and secrecy following closely behind. Personally I have wondered if many abortions happen not because a child could not be welcomed, but rather that the truth might just be too hard to tell. We exist to be present in the first days of crisis, to counsel medically and emotionally to bring light back into the situation. To many young women, a member of our staff will be the first person they will have to face with the news of an unplanned pregnancy, we pray for the opportunity to have that visit and take the responsibility of it very seriously. We stand faithfully in the gap for churches and families when the young woman feels unable to turn there first. Not to mention all the other wonderful ways that we serve: like counseling parents and partners, helping after a pregnancy loss, counseling through postpartum depression, and offering prevention programs to youth.
I was happy to share that message with people when I asked them to join us and support our mission, and that was the message that we celebrated Saturday when together we prayed, walked, ran, jumped, ate and played.
Not a bad job, right?
Beverly Rogers, Director of Community Relations, has been with Hope Clinic for Women for over a year and is charged with strengthening and building business relationships both with donors and the medical community and to raise awareness of the services available at HCFW, as well as the needs we have. She oversees 4 major annual fund raising events as well as church giving.
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